BLOG TOUR: If They Knew by Joanne Sefton

If They Knew

I know who you are.
I’ve come to pay you back.

Nobody in Barbara Marsden’s family knows about her past, least of all her daughter Helen. When she is diagnosed with cancer, her secrets are no longer safe. Someone wants the truth to come out.

Desperate to keep her mother safe Helen will stop at nothing to uncover the truth of her past, but the consequences might hurt her own fractured family and put Barbara at risk…

What really happened all those years ago? And who is going to end up paying the price?

A gripping family drama where love and betrayal go hand in hand, perfect for fans of Lisa Jewell, Kerry Fisher and Adele Parks.

Extract

He held the phone in his hand for a good minute or so after Helen had hung up. Even after all these years, he still ached for his daughter like a missing limb. He just needed a moment.

Once he’d gathered himself, he’d go back through to the living room, where Barbara would be doing the crossword or sudoku; denial tap-tapping from her pen as she drummed it on the newspaper, fingertips dancing under the shadow of her neat, treacherous breasts.

He put the handset back into its cradle and opened the living room door.

‘Shall I put a brew on, love?’

She nodded towards the cup at her elbow, her hands not even slowing.

‘No, thanks. I didn’t finish the other one, and it’s barely cold.’

‘Right.’ He paused in the doorway. ‘Do you mind if I sit with you?’

‘Why would I mind, you daft bugger?

He took a few steps, crossing the floor towards her, then reached out a hand to take the paper from her.

‘What are you doing? I’m about to get one.’

‘Put it down, love, eh? Just for a minute.’

She sighed, but did as he asked, laying the paper and pen to one side and folding her arms. He sat down beside her and placed a hand on her knee, half expecting her to brush it away.

‘I told our Helen.’

‘But we agreed we weren’t going to worry her.’

Neil shook his head. ‘We were wrong, love. I know what we said, but—’

‘Well, if you’ve done it then you’ve done it.’ She cut him off briskly and went to pick up her pen again. Neil pushed her hand gently down.

‘Barbara …’ his voice was shuddering, ‘… oh God, Barbara. You know I love you so, so much.’

To his surprise, she turned in to him and opened her arms to hold him.

‘And I love you, Neil. Always.’

After their embrace, he slipped an arm around her shoulders and she leant in against him, although she’d picked up the paper again, making a show of concentrating on her little scribbled sums. Her shoulders felt narrow, almost bony, and he pictured the cancer already leaching her strength, growing with parasitical single-mindedness.

‘I love you,’ he said again, almost apologetically.

‘So you said. And you’ll have plenty of time to say it again, whatever happens.’

‘I know.’

He counted to ten in his head.

‘Barbara?’

‘What?’

‘I love you!’

He peered over the newspaper, wondering if she’d laugh or just glare at him, but the look in her eyes was one of pity. His own laugh caught in his throat.

Surely Barbara was the one more in need of sympathy? But then his wife had never been one to conform to expectations.